Hate being disturbed!

Why? Oh why don’t others understand that the only thing I’ve want for myself is peace and serenity?

Why do they have to barge into my world and disrupt it? I can’t tolerate direct communication at all. I have to have another medium to express myself and don’t seek out socializing at all.

And yet I have to threaten to call the cops on others anytime I don’t wanna interact with anyone at all. Like this afternoon, a neighbor had come from behind me with a large black dog saying “hi, how are you?” making me jump up in fright and cuss at her to leave me the fuck alone. But she hadn’t understood my words the first time had kept pestering me : “I’m Sandra, your neighbor and live right beside you.” The flipping hell is wrong with her not understanding that she had given me a scare? I had even said to her that I don’t socialize at all. I had to yell at her to leave me alone for her to finally that I don’t enjoy my peace being disrupted. How many times do I have to say it for them to understand? After I had said “I don‘t socialize and stop”, she had dared ask me again : “what are you doing?”

As an asocial and autistic, except my mom, sales staff and other professional I don’t have to communicate at all. In fact, communication is a disruprion into my perfectly serene life. Suffering also highly from social phobia, paranoia, anxiety and stress, if you approach me first, it’d just trigger hostility in me because I’m fearing you, an outsider into my perfectly predictable life. These mental disabilities severely cripple anyone from anything remotely resembling normal social interactions with others. Because the only thing on my mind when anyone is first to approach me is : “I have to shield myself from you because it‘s truly disarming”. Howeve, depressing for me for now is my most urgent mental illness to recover from, so my therapist has set the other ones aside for the moment dealing with my chronic suicidal depression first and foremost.